SID: Hello. Sid Roth here. Welcome to my world where it’s naturally supernatural. My guest was such a broken, wounded woman. She spent 50 years, 50 years not knowing that God loved her and most of that time was in church. Then she went to Heaven, was hugged by God, sat in God’s lap and found out that she can teach you how to go to Heaven every time she prays and found out she can teach you how to go to Heaven. Anyone interested? You know, many of you as you grew up, you had imperfect parents. You know why they were so imperfect? They had imperfect parents. But it has to stop somewhere. But Judy, you always felt you never measured up. I think it kind of started with the fact that you had a learning disorder. But in your family, the thing that really, really got you, almost sabotaged you from the beginning is you believed a lie.
JUDY: Yes.
SID: Tell me about that.
JUDY: Well my mother was painting our living room and in the kitchen she left a cup down and it had turpentine in it. And I got up from a nap.
SID: How old were you?
JUDY: Oh about three or four. And I drank the turpentine and almost died. They took me to the hospital, pumped my stomach. But after that my grandmother was taking care of us and she put me on her lap, and she told me.
Voice of Judy’s Grandmother: Your mom left the turpentine on purpose because you’re no good.
SID: Why would she say that?
JUDY: She wanted my father to take me away from my mother so my grandmother could raise me.
SID: So you had to live with that lie.
JUDY: Yes.
SID: And I understand you had so much trauma in your life from the learning disability, the special classes, the fact that you think your mother wanted to kill you, which wasn’t true. But you wrote a letter to Dear Abby. What did you write?
JUDY: I asked her why my dad didn’t like me because he treated me so mean. And it didn’t matter what he did, he just didn’t like me. And I asked her why doesn’t my father love me because I try so hard. And my mother found the letter, and she took it to my dad. I honestly thought he’d say, oh I do, she just does dumb stuff. But instead, he bellowed out.
Voice of Judy’s Dad: Maybe I could love her if she wasn’t so stupid.
SID: Whoa.
JUDY: And that was a maybe if she weren’t so stupid. So I didn’t even have, well if you’re not stupid I could love her, but maybe if she weren’t so stupid I could love her.
SID: So she does what everyone else does. They get married and they think it will be like Hollywood and one of the first things her husband says to her, “Look, I only married you so you could cook for me and you could bear my children.” Just out of curiosity, what affect did that have on you?
JUDY: I gave up. I really thought that if I could get married somebody would love me, but that was kind of like the final straw for me that well nobody could love me and I just thought with the help of the enemy telling me more lies that I was just a person that couldn’t be loved. And there was just something about me that nobody could love me, so I lived like that.
SID: Then she had an encounter with what she calls pure love. Tell me about that encounter.
JUDY: Well we had just gotten back from Toronto and I had an experience there.
SID: By the way, Toronto was having a revival-led time and people that went there were overcome with the Spirit of God, had experiences that were life-changing. So you just came back from this life-changing, did you have an experience there?
JUDY: Oh yes. I was worshiping one night. I had my face up and I heard a voice say, “What are you looking up for? I’m right here.” And I looked down and Jesus was standing in front of me and he had his hands out. So I took his hands and I just kept singing to him, and I put both of his hands in mine and then just was caressing his, and I felt the nail scars. And as soon as I recognized what it was, he leaned forward and said…
Voice of Jesus: You see this? I did this for you.
JUDY: Personally, he did it for me. You know how we can all think, oh yeah, he died for everybody, but he personally did it for me just like he personally does it for everybody. So I had come back to Redding and Benny called me up to share, and I have always been afraid of people, so afraid because I didn’t want them to know I was stupid. So if you don’t talk very much then they can never find out. And so she called me up. There were 800 people in the audience and I was walking up there, and I thought, I’m not scared. I’m not scared at all. And I got up there and they were setting up, and I’m looking at all the people, and I thought, that was really strange. But at that time I was delivered of my fear of man of being in front of people, talking to people. So I got done sharing and I would suppose that it was Bill and Beni praying for me. I don’t really remember, but I was down on the floor. And I thought, well, hmmm, what do I do now? I’m down here on the floor on the stage and they’re going on with the service. And I’m thinking, well do you just sit up? Do you stand up like nothing happened? And then I thought do you roll off? And I thought, oh would I be a holy roller then? So I thought, oh I’ll just sit up, but I couldn’t get up. And then at the end I was just relaxed and I happened to open my eyes, and I saw his Glory. I don’t know how I knew what it was, but I knew it was his Glory and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And I kept saying, look, look at it, it’s so beautiful.
SID: Now we read about his Glory in the Bible, but it’s one thing to read about it, the other, I think what you’re saying is it’s an experience.
JUDY: Yes. God doesn’t want you just to read the Word. He wants you to experience the Word. Every time we experience the Word we have more faith. It adds faith to our lives.
SID: So he was holding something in his hand. What?
JUDY: A rock and he was knocking on it, and it started cracking like an egg and it all fell off. And inside the rock was a heart and it started very slowly beating again. And he said, “This is my church and this is what I’m going to do to my church.”
Voice of God: I’m going to take the rock from off its heart and it’s going to come alive again.
SID: Now you had this encounter you told me about with the Glory of God, with the love of God. You became almost a changed person. One day you’re laying across your bed and you see a door. Take it from there.
JUDY: I see this door and it opens about a foot, and something comes out and it lands on me, and I stopped praying and started worshiping God. But I’m thinking this is so strange. I feel so good and I’m worshiping God in a way that I had never talked to him before.
SID: So you had a degree of a breakthrough and this door keeps showing up. And one day the door opens and what happens?
JUDY: I moved into this place. I saw two figures. They were shadowy figures. One I knew was the Father and one was Jesus, and I just talked to them. We talked. I thought I was making it up. I thought somehow in my imagination I was making it up, but in order to imagine anything you kind of have to think of it first and then you run with it and put things in.
SID: Of course.
JUDY: I wasn’t imagining because this all surprised me and every time I’d lay down and start to pray that’s where I would be with them and I’d talk to them.
SID: Tell me about the time that Jesus hugged you.
JUDY: When I see him a lot, he hugs you and he, I can feel his arms around me.
SID: I haven’t had this. You’re provoking me to jealousy. You know, you’re doing what the Bible. The Bible says the gentile is to provoke the Jew to jealousy. Okay, so you’re normal. But tell me, I kind of get a little of it just from you telling me. What is it like for God to hug you? What is it like to feel his love?
JUDY: It’s the best. It took me a while to learn, quite a while to learn that when I go to him and I can sit on his lap any time I want to, and I just take in all of this, and then when it’s over I’m back, and it’s like I’m full of peace.
SID: I have to tell you, as you’re telling me what occurred and occurs quite often I’m feeling that peace come off of you into me. You know what I believe? I believe that in just a little bit I’m going to have you pray for everyone that wants this prayer in our studio audience and watching, and I believe that something tangible is going to happen to them.
JUDY: Yes.
SID: In fact, when we come back I’ll have her pray for you.
